Marijuana Madness – Stoner Jokes Part 2


Scooby and Shaggy were always being freaked out by ghosts and ghouls, but no one else saw them before Scoob and Shaggy.

Scooby and Shaggy always had the munchies.

Shaggy always thought Scooby was talking and was the only one who could hear him and understand him.

Scooby and Shaggy always fell into the trap that was intended for the monster because they were tripping over themselves and couldn’t see where they were going.

They were always deluded and warped by thinking they were dressed up in some costumes and entertained the monster.

Shaggy always said “like” to the extreme, i.e. “like ZOIKS, Scoob, let’s get outta here!!” What’s a ZOIK?

Scooby and Shaggy were always the ones in the back of the van (doing who knows what).

They drove around in the MYSTERY MACHINE, which had that weird trippy design on it’s side.

Shaggy and Scooby were always giddy and laughing.

Look at Shaggy; the way he dressed, his goatee, etc., ’nuff said.

An out-of-work hippe from Boulder gets a letter in the mail that appears to be from Chicago. It’s from one of his friends that moved to chicago and got a job. The hippie reads the letter, and it says, “Chicago is great! The money grows on trees!” The hippie takes the phrase literally, and says to himself, “The money grows on trees? Wow! I’m going to chicago!” He gets off the bus and walks up to the first tree he sees. Lo and behold, there are $20 bills hanging off the branches! He starts to reach up and grab a few hundred dollars, but he says to himself, “Not today. I’m not working my first day in Chicago!!!”

Q: How do you hide money from a hippie?

A: Put it under the soap.

Q: How do you hide pot from a hippie?

A: Put it in his work boots.

Q: What do you call 20 female hippies in a sauna?

A: Gorillas in the mist.

Q. What is the difference between politicians and stoners ?

A. Politicians don’t inhale…they just suck.

Did you hear about the stoners that locked their keys in the car ? It took them two hours to get out.

Q. How do you get a one armed hippie out of a tree ?

A. You pass him a joint.

Q. What do you get when you eat marijuana ?

A. A pot belly

Q. What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs ?
A. Double jointed.

Two stoners are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls. One says to the other i sure wish i could do that. The other stoner says you better get to know him better first.

Q. How do fish party ?

A. Seaweed.

Q. What do you call one bowl between three tokers ?

A. Malnutrition.

Q. What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ?

A. A Liar.

Q. How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ?

A. When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.

Stoner good fortune: When you are cleaning your room and find some hooch you forgot about.

Stoner Pick-up Line: Hey i have a 9 inch joint.

You might be a stoner if your bong gets washed more than your dishes.

There is a thin line between love and hate. Its starts about halfway through the joint.

Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of good pot.

Q. What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner ? A. The drunk will drive through a stop sign while the stoner will wait for it to turn green.

Q. Why did the pot head plant cheerios ? A: He thought they were donut seeds.

Two stoners were walking and saw a fly on a pile of crap. One stoner says to the other- Wow he had to go bad.

The stoner went to a bar. He has’nt had any nookie in awhile. He saw this chick leaning on the cigarette machine in a dark corner and decided to talk to her. Hey baby i know this is a little forward but i dont get out much so im willing to take a chance. Why dont me and you go to your place and get stoned, maybe cuddle and make a little whoopie. She looked up at the stoner and said – I cant right now, im on my menstrual cycle. The stoner scratched his head and thought for a second – it’s ok I’ll follow you, I’m on my honda.

What do you think?

Written by Dr Madness

Marijuana Madness – Stoner Jokes Part 1

Marijuana Madness – Stoner Jokes Part 3